The Formula For Success

Ingredients:
5 C Canned Dialogue
2 t Humor Extract
3 1/4 C Romance
3,500 Words
1 Thesaurus
1 16oz. Bottle Suffering
Dash of Cliche powder

A few teaspoons Loosely Veiled Threats for presentation.

Pour the entire contents of a bottle of Suffering and all 5 cups of Canned Dialogue into a large mixing bowl. Let stand 5 minutes.
Add Humor extract to the mixture. Make sure to break one of it's legs first.
Stir in Romance & Cliche. Be careful add the Cliche powder and the Romance at the same time.
Mix words into the liquid until it forms a glue-like substance, then add your thesaurus.

Put it in a pre-heated queue for 2-4 days, checking periodically. Sprinkle liberally with Loosely Veiled Threats and serve. Await accolades.

Wait! There's more!

Actually, there's not, and that won't work. Well, to be abysmally honest, it will work. It's horribly horribly true that you can get a bunch of the same things and post them up and wham, you've got yourself a hit story, but there's a difference between having a hit and having something good.

Originality and taking a chance on something isn't overdone, cliched or just plain stupid is worth it, at least you'll have your self-respect when you're done.