Letting Go

As Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince release mayhem comes to a close the grieving must begin in earnest.

This book has given us many things to grieve; the death of our beloved Headmaster, any hope that JKR might realize just how right Harry and Hermione are for each other, Bill’s dashing good looks and, for many, the time has come to finally grieve the death of Sirius Black.

Since death is probably the world’s most pervasive tragedy, it has been studied extensively by therapists, scientists, philosophers, and even industry. It has also been studied extensively by me and therefore, I feel fully qualified to pass along some tips for getting through the grief so you can move on to go the good things in life, like shamelessly mocking the feeble transitions in this book.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross defined the five stages of grief in her book “On Death and Dying.” I read this. It was boring. I contemplated many ways to liven up the subject matter a little, hand puppets were considered, but I thought that might offend some so we’re going to have to go at this in the same dry manner as always; a list.

Step One: Denial

Denial is probably the most recognizable stage of grief and the one in which so many of our forum users seem to be stuck. Alas, it takes more than peanut butter to get this wad out of your hair. For some it will require a full assessment of the facts and a complete exhaustion of every far-fetched idea they can think of while others are happy to take it as writ that it’s just over. Still some will never be satisfied that the buck has stopped, the bucket has been kicked and the timer reached zero. To you, the truly committed, the next passage is dedicated.

Dumbledore is dead. So is Sirius. Harry and Hermione is just never going to happen and Remus is probably next. Deal.

This should free up a lot of your time. Your grades might even pick up.

Step Two: Anger

No, not at me. At the world, at JKR, at her editors and publishers. You are angry. That’s understandable. Regardless of whether you liked Dumbledore or not, it can’t be denied that he just shouldn’t have died; it was cruel to take him from Harry and in that fashion no less. Many impulses will occur to you now. Ignore them. Do not write that angry letter. Do not abandon the series. Do not tear up your fanclub membership. Do not burn all of your memorabilia. You will regret this later when Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire comes out in cinema’s and reminds you why you liked this in the first place. If nothing else, you’ll regret it when you realize just how much grey matter you’ve dedicated to this obsessive love. Why render it useless now? You’ve survived other JKR train wrecks and even if this one gave you a bit of whiplash, that’s no reason to stop watching.

Step Three: Bargaining

Like a tourist strolling through Purerto Vaillarta, the desire to negotiate is probably overcoming you now. “What about Peter? We never really liked him in the first place!” or “Take Ron, he’s annoying!” A few deep breaths and facts should knock you right out of this phase.

Something like 2 Million copies of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince were sold in the UK in the first day of sales. This is not the kind of statement you can just retract. Ever watched the Prime Minister stumble during Question Hour and spend the next six weeks trying to take it back. This is the level of denial we’re talking about here, and the Prime Minister only has to deal with disenfranchised adults, JKR is tangling with obsessed teenagers. She could lose a limb or two

It’s also important to consider the notion that Dumbledore’s death may have some shred of relevance to the series as a whole. I know, it’s a far off notion, but perhaps Dumbledore’s death was meant to help Harry to grow in some fashion.

Step Four: Depression

And the upswing of stories labeled “Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme” takes a dangerous rise in the queue, the angst category swells to the breaking point and Draco and Hermione are suddenly pairing off far more frequently than the staff is used to.

Yes, you have finally accepted the death, devastation, and outright cruelty of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and it’s bloody depressing.

You, my friend, need to wallow. Go get some ice cream, put on your sweatpants, rent The Way We Were and drown your sorrows in a gallon sized tub of Cherry Garcia. You’ll feel better. Or, if that’s not your style, re-read some of the more not-quite-canon moments in HBP. My personal recommendation is the Madame Malkins scene. It gets me every time.

Step Five: Acceptance

You’ve cried, you raged, you’ve probably broken a few things in the process and maybe even gained a pound or two. Finally, however, you’ve reached your destination on the other side. You’ve accepted it and you are better for having gone through the experience.

Welcome, well-adjusted individual, to the ranks the indifferent. Join us in giggling fits as we read the threads in The World of Harry Potter that desperately cling to some shred of hope. Don’t worry, they’ll come around.