Thigs I Should Never See: The Tonks/Lupin Edition
My favorite ship and even it has some things that just make me want to sit through another reading of HBP with some Vogan sensory enhancments. So, we embark on "Things I Should Never See: The Tonks/Lupin Edition"
Excerpts below have been taken from actual stories. While i would normally credit the authors for their work, given the context, I think it's probably more polite not to.
Passage:
Tonks was alone in Grimmauld place. Tonks was alone in Grimmauld place with Remus Lupin. She'd had a huge crush on Remus ever since she'd first seen him. The fact that this July had been incredibly hot--so hot that even the usually conservative Remus was in cargo shorts and a sleeveless white t-shirt--didn't help.
No:
Right, this story was clearly writtten by someone who has a seventh year installment of Harry Potter and the Second War. It probably starts in a very simmilar fashion.
Remus Lupin is 37 years old. He is a cash-strapped werewolf. He is an intellectual. I cannot picture him in a shirt without a collar. I'm sorry, I just can't. I would bet that there's a consencus on that.
Passage:
He looked hot. Not movie star, or model hot, but perfectly tanned Californian surfer type of hot. This was definitely not good. How could she ever hope to help him heal from the loss of Sirius if she was battling with her mouth whether or not to ask him out?
No:
Does...can I even...ugh.. If you can't figure this out, you're just an idiot.
Passage:
She sat, sobbing, on the cold hard unyielding floor. Her body shook and trembled, she was so angry at herself and so numb; she needed to feel again, she needed to feel alive. Taking the scissors, out of the pocket of her robes, she rolled back her sleeves and began to carve. It had started, at first, just as scratches but she realised, as they began to fade into nothingness, that it wasn’t enough and so she had begun to cut deeper.
No:
She's a grown fucking woman - not a melo-dramatic 16 year-old.
Passage:
And yet here he was, off on a visit to see her. He tried to tell himself that it would be enjoyable to see Tonks, and perhaps even catch up with her mother, Andromeda, as well. He hadn't see Andromeda since school; the last time had been one weekend just after leaving Hogwarts when he and Sirius had paid a visit to her at home, strictly for the purpose of aggravating her sisters Narcissa and Bellatrix, and scandalizing their parents. Finally he gave up; there was no way that he could convince himself that he had the slightest interest in catching up with an old friend. It was her daughter that he needed to see.
No:
Check your canon people - there is a 12 year difference between Remus and Tonks. Even if it was plausible that they were friends in school, time wise, it's just creepy to think that that would be the context :)
Excerpts below have been taken from actual stories. While i would normally credit the authors for their work, given the context, I think it's probably more polite not to.
Passage:
Tonks was alone in Grimmauld place. Tonks was alone in Grimmauld place with Remus Lupin. She'd had a huge crush on Remus ever since she'd first seen him. The fact that this July had been incredibly hot--so hot that even the usually conservative Remus was in cargo shorts and a sleeveless white t-shirt--didn't help.
No:
Right, this story was clearly writtten by someone who has a seventh year installment of Harry Potter and the Second War. It probably starts in a very simmilar fashion.
Remus Lupin is 37 years old. He is a cash-strapped werewolf. He is an intellectual. I cannot picture him in a shirt without a collar. I'm sorry, I just can't. I would bet that there's a consencus on that.
Passage:
He looked hot. Not movie star, or model hot, but perfectly tanned Californian surfer type of hot. This was definitely not good. How could she ever hope to help him heal from the loss of Sirius if she was battling with her mouth whether or not to ask him out?
No:
Does...can I even...ugh.. If you can't figure this out, you're just an idiot.
Passage:
She sat, sobbing, on the cold hard unyielding floor. Her body shook and trembled, she was so angry at herself and so numb; she needed to feel again, she needed to feel alive. Taking the scissors, out of the pocket of her robes, she rolled back her sleeves and began to carve. It had started, at first, just as scratches but she realised, as they began to fade into nothingness, that it wasn’t enough and so she had begun to cut deeper.
No:
She's a grown fucking woman - not a melo-dramatic 16 year-old.
Passage:
And yet here he was, off on a visit to see her. He tried to tell himself that it would be enjoyable to see Tonks, and perhaps even catch up with her mother, Andromeda, as well. He hadn't see Andromeda since school; the last time had been one weekend just after leaving Hogwarts when he and Sirius had paid a visit to her at home, strictly for the purpose of aggravating her sisters Narcissa and Bellatrix, and scandalizing their parents. Finally he gave up; there was no way that he could convince himself that he had the slightest interest in catching up with an old friend. It was her daughter that he needed to see.
No:
Check your canon people - there is a 12 year difference between Remus and Tonks. Even if it was plausible that they were friends in school, time wise, it's just creepy to think that that would be the context :)
posted by Kay at
6:44 PM
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